Where can Boris shove his bikes?
At first, Boris bikes seemed like a great way to get everyone cycling. With hindsight they seem like a very obvious way to make money out of cyclists.
For the membership and hire price most people would be better off just buying a cheapo bike of their own. Even cheapo bikes are more manoeuvrable and enjoyable to ride than a Boris.
But what really bugs me about the scheme is that since the bikes came to London there are now very few places for bike owners to park their bikes.
There used to be free bike stands all over the city but many of them have been replaced by rows of Boris bikes. These days, you must find a lamppost that’s not too wide for a lock, or seek out railings that don’t belong to someone territorial who owns bolt cutters. You must risk coming back to find your bike knocked over, one wheel rotating forlornly out in the road, waiting to be driven over by a bus.
In addition to that, the city is overrun with perilously slow, dozy Boris bikers, weaving and wobbling away from lights, failing to shoulder-check, overtaking on the inside and basically getting right on everyone’s tits.
I’m all for the idea of cycling for everyone but this isn’t cycling for everyone. It’s very obviously the product of a brainstorming session at City Hall entitled “making cycling in London pay.”
This is bullying the committed, everyday bike owner out of the picture and replacing them with the more lucrative dimwit-on-hired-wheels.
And it’s not even working – it looks a lot like it’s losing money.
Anyway, I have thought of somewhere else Boris can shove his bikes to free up a bit of room for more cycle parking.
Boris, if you’d like to know, please send me a message. I can even draw you a diagram as rumour has it that you probably couldn’t find it with both hands.